Something that many do not seem to comprehend is that killers, too, are just as anxious as victims before they murder- at least, in a physical aspect.  My body shivers in anticipation of what is to come today.  It is an average day, for me of course, but that does not alter how goosebumps spread throughout my arms and legs, how my heart beats slightly faster, how I can feel the warm blood rushing through my veins, how the tiny hairs across my forearms begin to rise, how the sweat of my forehead seems to glisten more against the sunlight, how my throat grows a larger lump by the second- all characteristics that are meant to alarm me that something is wrong.  It’s like a threat, like an adrenaline rush that has gone wrong, a higher being attempting to warn me not to do it.  

What this being doesn’t seem to realize, however, is that this is the exact reason why I do it.  

There’s this little daydream that I enjoy participating in quite a bit.  I sit on a glorious throne, built with gold, silver, precious and rare jewels- and human bones.  This throne is not measly or meager in the slightest; it stands one hundred feet tall and towers over the world, everyone looking up at me with respect, awe, and even a bit of fear.  There is no position higher, no replacement waiting under me, it is only me on this throne.  I am worthy of being called a king, an emperor of everything.

Of course, I have not spoken of this fantasy to anyone else.  In real life, I am merely an everyday real estate agent.  A competitive career, of course, but I make sure that I am the best.  It pays well, but I always find myself wanting more.  

I would say that I am a man with many enemies.  I believe that everyone is an enemy in a way- everyone is silently competing to be the best, the greatest- the king.  Yet, there is one individual that I believe is a little higher on my list of foes.  We would always interact calmly in the workplace, smiling, laughing, cracking jokes- but we both recognized fully that it was all a facade.  I saw how his eye twitched when I called his name, I would notice the sweat drip down his face, his right hand gradually curling into a fist, how his foot tapped, how he seemed to drink more water when I was in the room with him- we were not friends.

This was all normal behavior for him in my opinion.  He had been acting like this since the first day we started working together.  Maybe he harbored some plot against me, but it was not happening soon.  I had seen individuals like him before, but they always soon turned out to no longer be an issue.

That was, until a week ago.

It was a normal morning.  I was heading to my desk when I passed by him as usual at the water station.  I greeted him hello as he handed me my water cup.  He did not twitch as usual.  Hmm.  That’s interesting.  He replied hello back, but did not touch his water, or act nervous in the slightest.  Rather, he acted confident, laid-back, and powerful.  

Something was wrong.  Where did he gain this sudden excitement, this sporadic assertiveness, what happened?  Perhaps I was overthinking this, maybe he was just having a good day.

No, that did not make sense.  I was invited to his wedding.  Even on that day, he continued to act the same around me.  It must be something else, he must have done something.

Or perhaps, he was planning something.

Yes, that was the only reason why he could possibly act differently.  His everlasting thirst for power over me- our fierce battle for authority over each other- must soon be coming to an end, he finally has found a means to end himself of the everlasting torture that he faces every day when he hears my voice.

But how?  Has he found a way?  Has he found a way to fire me or give me a demotion, sneaking behind my back like the slimy serpent that he is, communicating with my boss and telling him dirty corrupted lies in order to rid me of my position?

No, I got along better with our boss than he ever did- our boss was exceptionally fond of me.  Not to mention that even if I was fired, my resume and education level is so incredible(not to mention my astounding letters of recommendation) that I could find a new job easily- he knew that.

So then what has he found, what plan, what scheme had he begun to arrange?  What idea was lurking in that putrid mind of his?

I flinched.

No, no that’s too drastic, that couldn’t possibly be it.  

Or…could it?

There was only one true way to get rid of me, to have all competition gone, to truly claim victory.

He had to kill me.

How was this even possible, was he even capable of it?

I chuckled to myself.  I looked back at him from my desk chair.  I’ve seen the darkness that lies behind those eyes when he thinks nobody is looking, I’ve seen the disgust and hatred in that faux morning smile he gives me; he was fully capable of it.

Then that begged the question: how would he do it?

He could stab me, but that seemed like too big of a mess, and everyone in our office knew how clean of a man he was.  If he ever did anything corrupt, he didn’t even want to risk getting his fingerprints all over it; he never wanted to get his hands dirty, whether it was spilling some coffee on his leg, or choking on another man’s blood.

Any weapon seemed out of the question then.  He could hire a hitman, but that seemed far too sketchy.  He had definitely committed corrupt acts in the past- just by the look on his face every day I could tell- but he had a family.  He didn’t want to bring them too close to this.

I frowned and took a sip of my water, staring at him with contempt through my peripheral vision.  One would look at him and see a simple family man, a business leader, nothing more- but I saw nothing more than the devil looking back at me.  I guess he saw me staring because he immediately looked back at me, smiled, and raised his water cup to me.

No.

No that couldn’t be it.

But how could it not?

I stared at my water cup in horror as I realized what the ferocious beast had done.

I could feel the blood boil through my veins and my cheeks grow redder and redder by the second in fury.  This imbecile couldn’t do this to me, a future king, a powerful man filled to the brim with competence and force.  I couldn’t die like this I had to stop it, I had to stop HIM.

Before he could even think, before he could even move, blink, even BREATHE, I got up and ran at him at full speed, my heart pounding through my chest and the sweat dripping across my forehead in anticipation.  Carrying my water cup, making sure I didn’t even spill even the slightest drop, my legs bolted faster and faster.  His face looked shocked, confused, fearful- disgusting.  The way it was supposed to be.  I was doing something right.

Before he could say anything, I took the cup of water and forced the liquid poison down his throat at the speed of lightning.  He foolishly tried to stop me, shoving his hand at the cup, pushing it away, and soon even attempting to push me away.  Stupid boy, he couldn’t even contemplate an ounce of my astronomical strength.  

I started shoving it faster and faster as his face began growing red and a deep and violent cough initiated in his throat.  Perhaps he doesn’t like the taste of his own medicine!

As this continued on, I felt his hands grip me tighter and tighter before they finally gave up completely.  

I stare him in the eyes as they began to lose focus and slowly shut close as I whispered in his ear with no remorse “You got what you fucking deserved.”

As he collapsed to the floor, I felt the poisonous effects of anxiety and fear had faded away and I was now calm.  

I looked around to see the other coworkers stare at me in fear and power- like I was their ruthless king, and they would sacrifice anything for their will.

Finally, I had won.