my address is a guesthouse

my roots sprout from the soil of a stranger’s garden

i drive once a week downtown 

waking up at the crack of dawn

and as I watch the sun rise 

through my window

i can see the California coast

yes! 

it is there

where I shall return!

where I feel utter nostalgia

and will grow my family

i observe the downtown buildings

and can see the Los Angeles skyline

i open my window

and nearly feel the loving graze

of the San Diego breeze

but i drove again today

and was too tired to notice the changing sky

or the gentle wind flowing into my hair

when I realized

what I was doing

a fear grew

i dread the day

i grow weary of the California coast

of the soft sand between my toes

and the salty air flowing

into my nostrils

i dread the day

i live too long in my head

that i do not remember

how much time and effort it took

to break open that wall

that stood there for so long

i dread the day

as disease rots my brain

i dream of going back to where i’m from

with rose colored glasses

view fruit where there was poison

i dread the day

i wish to show my children

the house I hated growing up in

and ask them to play

in the same cul-de-sac

i vowed to never return to

so now I think it is best

that as I look out my window

and view the downtown sunrise

i continue to admire its beauty

and never forget

how it’s the same sun rising over

my home of California