Category: Poetry

Storm clouds

July 10th, 2023

The brightest rainbows

And most shimmering sunrises

Can stem from what the darkest storms sow

Which all seemingly despises

The most important days you and I had

There was always rain and thunder

I always complained as if i was mad

Yet you always stated that we were louder

The rain was for us, you said

The god above giving us a sign

And the tears that we last both shed

Were a symbol of the rain that fell as we untwine

I still see you when it rains

But no longer are you laying with me

No cheesy remarks concerning pains or gains

Or the sarcastic eyerolls i returned with harbored glee

The rain fills me full with fear and anticipation

I wait constantly for the next precipitated day you will come

But until then the only storm clouds that appear in my nation

Are the nights you exist in my head and glee is replaced with glum
Call

July 10th, 2023

I called you today

I dont really know why

I was just going to ask you how you were doing

Or ask you if you were doing okay

Something like that

Im not sure

To be completely honest, i just wanted to hear your voice

I had never realized

That i would prefer arguing with you

Than not hearing from you at all

You didnt answer

You were probably busy or something

Which is fine, it makes sense,

And i didnt know what to do

I lied

Said it was a mistake

I called you by accident

And i think some part of me

Hoped that you would know it was a lie

And worry

That you would break the rule

And call to ask if im okay

Or ignore the text

Pretending that you didnt read it

Just to “answer the call”

We wouldnt even need to talk for that long

We could just say hi

Just anything really

Just an “oh my bad”

Anything

But instead you didnt

You believed it

Come on, you couldn’t have possibly have done that

It’s the stupidest lie in the book

So easy and simple

And you really just said okay?

I know i said

That we’re supposed to not talk

And im stubborn

But is this not killing you too

Do you not feel your heart ripping apart every single second

And feel so unbelievably hollow every single minute that you are gone?

Do you not feel that ginormous lump in your throat all of the time

In hopes that we could say a single word to each other?

Yes im stubborn

But you could have called

Just to ask if i was alright

Even just a simple hello could work

Telling me about something that annoyed you

Or a new ice cream flavor

I think right now i would kill

Just for you to talk about some stupid league of legends game

Hell

You could even talk about your drywall

But you didnt

Why?

Do you really follow the rules that strictly?

Did you truly not feel the tears that fell on my phone screen

When i typed that message saying that i called by accident?

Did you not feel weird when i took multiple minutes after the call to type that?

How would i even call you by accident?

Do you think im stupid?

We hadnt messaged in days

Or called in fact

So there would be no way that you could be

In my recent calls

And there would be zero possibility

That i could accidentally click on it

Maybe you know

Maybe you know in your heart that it wasn’t an accident

But was your brain not screaming at you

To call me back?

If i called you

And broke the rule

Wouldn’t that give you permission to do the same?
Monsoon Season

July 10th, 2023

i hear this line a lot in shows

“i look up at the sky at night

and wonder if we are looking at the same moon

thinking about the other”

i’m in a different time zone right now

across the globe

so that is quite impossible

monsoon season in india has just begun

i sat in the living room

staring through the window

thunder flashes

the wind blows with such a booming force

i can see newspapers and leaves

flying in the sky

trees shaking their branches with such vigor

water falling onto the ground

in sheer volume

and the street light at the end of the block

placed there to bring forth luminescence

in order to glimpse all of it in it’s raw beauty

we cannot see the same moon

at the same moment

but perhaps

the thunderstorms here

match the harsh texan rainfall

across the world

perhaps we both stare

through our living room window

or bedroom

or even outside looking up at the sky

at the same droplets of water

that fall onto our eyelids

perhaps in the same second

a droplet of water falls towards our lips

and we can taste

that slight hint of freshness

in the exact same moment

perhaps

as we feel the wind in our hair

and stare into the distant clouds above us

we will think of each other

and wonder if similar water is pouring

onto each other’s rooftops

and perhaps

that is enough

for now

Category: Poetry

Storm clouds

Call

Monsoon Season